DESTINED but DETERMINED

word:vomit

2009-11-22T05:14:40Z

HAHAHAHA WOW. Friday was chaotic. Some dickweed threw an eraser at my head while I was in art zone, painting my project.
Naturally I flipped out at him.

Me: What the fuck's your PROBLEM?
Guy: ....?
Me: Did you not get enough attention as a baby? Is that it?
Guy: ....okay chill just go back to painting.
Me: Go fuckin' kill yourself. :]

and then I shook for the rest of class because I was so angry. Fuckin' attention whore guys who act like complete loud retards to attract attention/girls. Sorry, not all of us want pigheaded jock 'popular guys'. Go choke. :]

And then when I was at Metro, I stopped walking to show Lydia a pretty Asian boy and then turned back around to see this fat girl IN MY FACE. She looked all offended/pissed off
and said "uh...MOVE?!" in this horrible tone.

So when she began to speedwalk away, I yelled out that she "Looked like she needed more room to walk"

:]

I'm not sorry for either of these moments. Catch me on a high stress day, and I'll rip you in two. 8DDD

HEY!

2009-11-17T05:24:44Z

HEY! So, VFS was fun. :] All the students in the class were real friendly, despite me intruding on their tight knit group/environment. A guy named Garth taught me what 1 point, 2 point, 3 point, and 5 point perspective are. And then drew me examples, even though he hadn't yet finished his own background design. :'D;;; eternally grateful.

And then found out he watches anime, reads manga, thinks cosplay is cool[wants to give it a try], wants to go to AE, and likes Vocaloids. HE IS THE MALE VERSION OF ME.

...that is all.

Oh, and life drawing is good, but depressing. Too many thoughts swirling in my head.
These thoughts can only be danced out.
In a dark club.

sick sick sick

2009-11-15T21:13:04Z

Wow Mario Kart pretty much cleaned out my wallet. Damn. 80 bucks go bye byeeeee. But my brother loves it, so that's all that matters.
The steering wheels are pretty hard to use haha, but definitely adds to the coolness. YOU FEEL COOLER WHEN YOU USE IT. AND DRIVING A BIKE. ssshhhhh

In other news: I saw Kyleigh again after almost half a year or more of not having a real conversation. It was super good to catch up. And also, she's the only one who laughs that much at anything I say. She makes me feel like a comedian.

And then I watched Law Abiding Citizen randomly with someone. We were gonna watch 2012, but the lineup was brutal. EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE EVERYONE DIE :D
Also, I am super smooth. I ran into a sign after buying my ticket. ksjdhierhuasd [why can't I be normal]

And on Friday, I peaced it before block B ended to get to VFS. Nicole's instructor let me sit in on their Life Drawing class in which we drew everyone else sitting around us. Hahahaha...good times.
I ended up looking like Azula in a lot of the pictures. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing.

I'm going again on Monday to go to the Background Design class, and then another Life Drawing class.

VFS seems pretty cool actually....and my mom likes the school's reputation....

*sighsigh*

evacuate the dance floor!

2009-11-08T17:52:51Z

New boots? Check
New optimism? Check
Old guilt? Check
=============

It's random how I have the Wednesday off in the middle of the week and my teacher NEVER TOLD ME. Had to catch it through the grapevine that it was even R. Day at all... then again maybe I'm just inattentive.
Yeah that's the one.

But I still need new jeans, and I don't really feel like going to that UBC photoshoot...
Maybe drag some friends to Metro on Wednesday.

I'm scared to apply to uni, so I haven't done it yet.

But I think I'm applying to...

- VFS
- CAP
-Emily Carr <--- this one's for the lulz, because I actually would never go there... 8C

Sorry for vanishing off for so long. Had to get some things in perspective. But I can't help but feel I don't deserve half the support I'm getting.

let me go

2009-10-29T23:26:33Z

How much longer can I continue?
How much of myself can I keep hiding?

I'm sorry I couldn't change.

I'm sorry I couldn't be the one you wanted me to be.

Kids these days...[BUT THE DANCE WAS FUN!!]

2009-10-25T08:15:34Z

To have a girl randomly come up to you, say you're cute and then turn around and diss one of your cos group members?

"Oh you're cute! But this Kaito's better than your guy!"
Me: Oh really?

Sorry bitch. I only have hot friends.

btw, no, your Kaito's wig was the wrong color. Bright aquamarine isn't accurate. And he didn't look 'JUST LIKE A CHICK OMG'. He wasn't as trappy as you thought. Better luck next time.

:]
peace.

paperthin hymn

2009-10-20T06:15:07Z

THIS PRAYER, that you'll answer me...
==============

MEME TIME

. Who are you?
. Are we friends?
. When and how did we meet?
. Would you kiss me?
. Give me a nickname and explain why?
. Describe me in one word!
. What was your first impression of me?
. Do you still think the same?
. What reminds you of me?
. If you could give me anything what would it be?
. How well do you know me?
. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
. Would you ever meet up with me?

Can't read my poker face

2009-10-14T05:04:26Z

So a few nights ago, I had a dream I was on a cruise ship with GORGEOUS, absolutely breathtaking decor. The one room had double staircases with huuuge banisters, and everything was golden and lovely. I've been thinking too much about lolita, obviously.

AND AND, THE DREAM HAD CHUCK BASS IN IT. It completed a wonderful night's time. *NERD*
I can't remember much of it, but this is the first dream in a long time that I actually never wanted to wake up from. People comment on how they don't expect me to be an early riser, but at sleepovers I'm first to wake, first to sleep. All that.
And if dreams aren't any better than life, why dream and sleep?

So yes. I'm very glad my subconscious decided to give me a break, and an awesome dream for once.
ALSO, I think I married him...in the dream. it was great.
But at the same time, it was heartbreakingly romantic and I knew it would never happen like that.
Because that's not how life goes.

LOVE HINA

2009-10-10T05:55:14Z

it's like watching this anime unfold in front of your eyes, in person.
it's amazing.

Marco, [guy on the right, wearing chinaman hat] has been having lady troubles lately. As in, he's not interested in anyone, and girls are throwing themselves at him.

I made this connection, and now, CANNOT UNSEE.

CANNOT UNSEE.

I continue to fight

2009-10-09T15:21:18Z

Why did no one think to invite me?
Thanks guys.

Regardless, I'm probably gonna be cooped up inside all weekend, unless I can get better super fast and convince my mom that swimming in near winter is a good idea......
I WANNA TEACH JOANNE HOW TO SWIM ;n;

C'mon, say what you feel!

2009-10-08T04:28:57Z

BE ANONYMOUS.

tell me what you really feel about me, right now.

It can be positive, negative, or neutral.
It can be a grudge you have against me, or a compliment, or maybe I owe you money?

Either way, tell the truth.

I'm dying to know. <3

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOOOOOWN

2009-10-07T02:00:22Z

This song makes me feel so much more epic. It's like they're giving me a deadline to get better by.

I spent the whole day sleeping, waking up, reading MLIA, sleeping, waking up. Rinse and repeat.

Oh and discussed with friends what weapons we had in our house in case of a zombie apocolypse.
Productive day? No

Awesome day? YES.

WHERE ARE YOU, YOU DELICIOUS YELLOW SPONGY BASTARDS?!

2009-10-06T06:30:17Z

Zombieland was win.
I wanna go watch it again, this time without the squealing, arm grabbing, and eye covering....all on my part.

But I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I heard people complain, but I had high hopes. And I wasn't FUCKIN' DISAPPOINTED.

Enjoy the little things, people.

And remember.

CARDIO

SEATBELTS

CHECK THE BACK SEAT

and be wary of bathroom stalls.

FIRED UP @ night

2009-09-29T05:56:35Z

YES!
and YES!

Monday night was a success. What a bang up way to start the week.
Risotto + chicken drumsticks on TV table trays while watching 'Fired Up'

F U
F U

Also, quote of the day.

Me: Ugh this is why I should become a lesbian.
Shannon: I hope so.
Me: .............HAHAHAHA JAI YOU SISTER'S COMING ONTO ME.
Shannon: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

You know you love me.

2009-09-27T23:42:25Z

FFFFFFFFF YES. GOSSIP GIRL HAS A 300 REFERENCE. ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD AGAIN.

Penelope: What's the point? You serve detention and go to Yale. You win. This is Madness!
Blair: THIS IS CONSTANCE. *smacks book out of Nelly Yuki's hands*

god. I cheered.

ichido dake...

2009-09-22T06:39:41Z

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF got into the mentorship program.
I missed the meeting at lunch thanks to my addled mind. And we were all told NO exceptions. No one would be accepted if they didn't attend the meeting.

But Ms. Selden pulled some strings and I got in. Q_Q
Finish all the paperwork. Get ready for interview to match me up to a mentor...

PORTFOLIO DAY IS COMING.

UNIVERSITY DAY IS ALMOST HERE.

and then the dinner on friday~ Gyoza King plz. I think I'll just order the takoyaki. Lots of it. TAT been craving it ever since 2 weeks ago when Nicole was all 'LET'S GO HAVE DINNER'
and then Lulu wanted to go to Gyoza King. The plans ended up colliding but meshing well. :3

yeah and they fired me from Chapters. Yay. Thanks to supportive friends, and not so supportive ones....

Ah, so this is how it is.

2009-09-16T23:04:40Z

I go along with everyone's obsessions, just because the sheer amount of how they love it at the time is so intoxicating.
But then they don't follow through and I'm left feeling a little empty.

I hate it.
I do it too much as it is, but it doesn't help anymore.
l
I don't know...

I'm addicted to the rush of a new love, but I hate the fading.
When you thought something belonged to just you and one other person, and then they share it with someone else....how am I supposed to feel?

This rush is crushing me.
But I won't ever stop, probably not.

===============================

RAINY WEATHER MAKES ME BAAAAAW. ;______;
[In other news, I'm dressing up a lot more for school, and I like it. 8] Makes me feel all fashionable and stuff~]

wrinkled and torn

2009-08-29T06:36:36Z

I don't want to do this anymore.
I need to change.
I need to change myself, the way I act around my friends.

I keep hurting him.
I won't do it anymore.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Just caught in the undertow, aren't you?

2009-08-18T18:38:55Z

How. Dare. You.

You bunch us all together and say we're all mentally/socially disordered .
You KNEW that one of us has an actual nervous disorder and has had frequest breakdowns because of you.
Another of us hasn't had the greatest time getting to her feet, but she's there now and she's not going to let some fatass knock her down.

Not everyone has been spoon-fed their achievements and possessions.
Not everyone has the 'luxury' of being in luxury.

Doing the right thing would be ignoring what you said outright, but I might as well clarify.
I'm writing this for my friends.
I don't call them names behind their back.

FACT: we are NOT lesbians. Or even 'trend lesbians'
What's hip and happenin' about wanting to be with someone despite resistance?
What's cool about being pushed down a hill and called names just because of what you are?
I didn't come out of the closet because it was the awesome thing to do.

*quoting Ben*
"But you both have bf's. wtf? He's just mad he can't watch."

FACT: I didn't 'become' bi. And I didn't do it just so I could have 'lesbian makeouts'
If you're going to call on my sexuality, do it to my face. Because if you tell any of my friends, they WILL bring it up with me.
Because that's what real friends do. They say what's going on. Even if it's gonna suck. A lot. Or break people up.

FACT: I do not have a social mental disorder that I know of.

But I am extremely disappointed in you for thinking that of me.
As an adult, you should have a rudimentary understanding of REAL disorders, and not just label as you see fit.
But you seem to like doing that.

You label, you name.
You try to fit people into a mold, regardless if they want to fit into it or not.

I am just a normal Asian bitch.
Who's typing this entry for friends.
Because if I consider people my friends,
even if they lie
or hurt me

I'll still help them.

After your seriously wrong steps, you were already stumbling down the stairs of 'no friendship, no return'. It's a slippery slope, my once-friend.
And it's a one-way trip, babe..

Have a nice trip,
See you next fall.

You spin me right round, baby right round

2009-08-15T19:00:56Z

Yesterday Max and I celebrated our 6 months. As in, holy crap it's already been half a year.
As in holy crap, longer than anything in the last few years.

So to celebrate...we watched a movie called Titan A.E. which is a Don Bluth film. WHICH IS SO WEIRD. I never knew he had tried his hand at SCI-FI. I'm so used to Anastasia and Thumbelina... But regardless, it was amazing. Very...blast to the past. But I loved it. A lot.

And then we ran to Science World. LOL for the fear exhibit. THAT'S RIGHT. A FEAR EXHIBIT. FOR SOMEONE WHO IS SCARED OF A LOT OF THINGS.

8D

Max isn't scared of anything apparently. And I....am.
We also did the screaming booth thing, which measures how loud you can scream. Yes I got a high score. LOLOL.

Then we walked to English Bay Beach from Grandville stn. [orz orz] and bought BEARD PAPA'S CREAMPUFFS.
god Joanne's got me addicted to those. YOU TOO JOHNNY e___e
and gave 2 to Sam because we ended up at Commercial.

And then I went home.

i can't remember anything else to post about.....

wakuwaku

2009-08-04T19:24:02Z

FEEL GOOD MOMENTS OF CHAPTERS::

Me: Gimme morphineee.
Kristine: Why?
Me: Cramps....=A=
Kristine: You know what works better?.....ALCOHOL.

================================

Carla: HEY help me find a book! <----[starbucks employee]
Me: SURE. Whatcha want?
Carla: A book on psychic readings. I asked Liam before, but he was all '......no'
Me: HAHAHAHA.

===============================

Corey: *talking to customer at cash* Oh dont worry. You're in good hands.
Erin: Gift wrap right? *starts*
Corey: She once wrapped the cast for my broken leg.
Me: And I broke it.
Corey: And she broke it.

===============================

Kristine: I FOUND the Time Traveler's Wife. It was all on the endcap where the Sookie Stackhouse series used to be.
Me: I hope so. That would've been 36 lost books.
Kristine: And customers going to the cash desk all murderous.
Customer: Excuse me? Can you help me find the Time Traveler's Wife?
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA

ALL WE GOTTA DO...

2009-08-01T06:45:50Z

♫ is just be friends ♫

=================
I don't get invited places anymore,
and if/when I do, I can't make it.
Why bother?

I'm missing out.
No one has time for me.
Even I don't.
I just want to leave and go somewhere by myself. Escape.
But whenever I try, my mom complains. Saying I'm playing too much.
I want to enjoy things.
Not regret wasting away inside.
I don't care if I get scarred and look even more burnt.

Grad year's gonna be a crunch.
I'm just glad my parents gave up on me.
Too bad I don't even have the willpower to try with art now.
Who would want this broken shard of a once whole piece?

==================
Everytime someone stares at my mom while she's driving, stare at her while she's walking with us, I want to yell and scream and hurt them.

I want to make faces at them, and hurt them so bad that people stare at them while they walk down the streets.
I want people to stare at those same hateful narrow-minded people that judge and I want people to call them monsters and beasts.

I want those that stare to see the insides of themselves and be scared at what they find..

I want them to feel this anger of mine, and be hurt forever, to have scars that'll never fade away no matter how hard they try, how hard they cry.
Lament and spoil and rot, you people.
You deserve thousands over every split second of shame or pain you cause her.

it was bad enough when you stared at me, made me feel like hiding in the corner, with my back to you all.
Spoil and rot.

LOTS OF LOVE,

♥

please don't say you are lazy, because you're actually crazy

2009-07-11T08:18:15Z

DAMMIT JOJO. YOU GOT ME INTO K-ON.
I'll never forgive you.

==========

This post is mostly so I can remember my coworkers names. Wow I fail.

Liam: 6'7" tall blonde guy.

Kristine: Blonde who works in kids section. Hates Bella.

Sherelyn: Loves Supernatural as much as I do. HA HA. Fantastic.

Bill: Shares a last name with Robert [Edward Cullen] HAR. Pretty sure he has the best accent ever.

Laureen: Manager. Glasses, curly hair.

Amber: Nicest person ever.

Sarah: Person who hired me lawl.

Adam: Reminds me of Dan from Gossipgirl. <--- this drives me insane.

Jillian: Shannon's friend lawl.

Alaina: Riverside grad. 8Db

==============================

I've only worked a few weeks OTL. And still so many more people to go.

It takes me more than 2 shifts to memorize people's names. SO MUCH FAIL.

And there's this one guy who worked last night, who reminded me of Seth Rogen, and that guy from 'I love you man' and 'Forgetting Sarah marshall'

orz I need sleep.

Work from 9-5 tomorrow whee.

soundless voice

2009-07-02T10:33:09Z

WHOO! Bus pass! I can roam the province, with only my phone and ipod to guide me!
My dad should be scared HAHA.

asjhieruhaksdas I'm so tired. But today was a good day!

Hilda+Flo+Ben+Nicole+Tara+Christine all visited today LMAO.
it was a huge party.

Mostly we hung out, walked, ate, walked, talked....ha ha.
But I was so grateful for the visit.

Then we all parted ways, since I had to take my brother to the fireworks, and they all had to make their way home~
At Castle Park, I bumped into Daniel + Tamlyn and....some other grade 10's I didn't know LAWL.
etc etc.
Next thing I know, Michele and Priya are there, and we're all watching fireworks.

It was a good day/night.

And I'm looking foward to my self-officiated beginning of summer.

I want to see everyone again, and make my way on my own two feet.

she's fast......

2009-06-25T08:16:18Z

(SDP) » Sam « says:
YAY
I'm gonna go get my lab coat on then >3
laika says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
genetic experiments
OH SHI-
(SDP) » Sam « says:
Be ready to kill anything that doesn't turn out right
laika says:
But what about Jai?
wasn't she a failed experiment too?
D8
(SDP) » Sam « says:
... she's fast
laika says:
HAHAHAHHAA
====================

I'm glad I have friends like you guys.